Lying to yourself + contemplation = mental masturbation

I took my own life

when I lied to myself,

Contemplation is a bummer 

lying in the summer

air was cool but not cold enough 

for me, the way I am

treating temperature like 

it's really a quality.

Let me be who I am 

and be who you are... 

the judgements I've stored for the world

are best not served at all.

I'm tired of chasing locks and keys 

as if the journey only applied

in a fantasy.

Writing on the dispersions of 

these constructs, my ego grieves still 

its rehabilitation.

Like it's the beginning of the end 

but really it's the beginning of the

beginning, to

humble myself each day 

before the nature of decay

so I can live like I've got something to lose

and find the things worth losing along the way.